Breakfast Slut

by andy [Team Editor]

I am a breakfast slut.

Being from the Midwest, the “most important meal of the day” has always meant three things- it better be filling, it better be good, and there better be some dead pig involved. You’d better load up on a little grease and a little carbs- because when you go outside in the harsh, -25 wind chill, cold as shit Minnesota winters- that dinky bowl of Oatie-Os just ain’t gonna cut it, hombre.

Growing up, my favorite breakfast in the world was my dad’s egg sandwiches. Basically you fry the crap out of an egg, top with cheese, and throw the thing between two slices of Wonder bread with ham and ketchup (cause we’re classy). Thinking back, getting me hooked on heartier breakfasts could have just been a master plan to make me stop throwing grocery store temper tantrums for cereals I only wanted for the cheap, Chinese-made, lead painted toy in the bottom of the box. Well played, father, well played.

Lust for morning grease and carbs has carried over to my adult life. While most are content to start their day with lighter fare, to me there is no better way to start the day than with a meal that makes you want to take a nap.

So you can keep your granola, half grapefruits, and breakfast replacement smoothies, hippie. Give me eggs. Give me bacon. Give me hash browns. If there is a biscuit and/or gravy involved, I would not be opposed to such things. Slap me in the face with a pancake or two, no argument here. And just to make sure I get my fruits and vegetables, how about a glass of OJ and pass the ketchup.

Throw in some sports radio and a good cup of coffee and you have everything a man could ever need. …Now if only it was socially acceptable to start drinking at 6 am.

About Ron Mexico

I am Ron Mexico.

Posted on October 5, 2010, in Eat. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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