Thirsty Thursdays: Got Caught Macerating

 by tyler [Team Booze Hound]

To masturbate or macerate that is the question…let me ponder that while I finish this bottle of wine. You know what goes well with wine? Cheese! You know who likes cheese don’t you? Mice! But what don’t Mice like? Traps! Annd you know what are on traps? Springs! And springs are a bit like a slinky… (breaking into song) Everyone loves a slinky you gotta get a slinky! Slinnnkyyy slinky GO slinky GO!

12 hours and one hangover later:

That wasn’t what I had in mind when I sat down to write….as you can clearly see.

To clarify several years ago I was required to take some classes in Wine Education for what was dubbed a “restaurant” we worked at in Orlando. As it turned out this was a crazy establishment that was secretly not a restaurant at all. In fact we later found out it was just an excuse to open the most thugged out nightclub I have personally every seen. Serving food was just an elaborate cover during the daylight hours.

To get back to the point…I quickly realized under the tutelage of an established wine expert that learning about wine is a lot less dull and dreary as you might think.

As it turns out the wine making process is quite “interesting” if you happen to find accidental sexual innuendos something to giggle at.

Apparently once the grapes are harvested they are squeezed and the skins are left to soak in the juices until the wine has reached its proper age and color at which time the skins are removed and the wine is aged in barrels to perfection.

This all sounds like typical Vineyard drole that no one really cares about…until you find out that this process is in part called the process of Maceration (Mas-er-a-shon). You all know what I mean when I say masturba…ahhh…Maceration rather. Apparently back in the day this involved both men and women, together, squeezing the grapes until all the juice has been ejac…ah…extracted. Then of course the skins and juice are left to mature in the uter…ah…barrel until the final product is ready to be revealed to the world. It’s opened, left to mature, and ultimately provides many great pleasures. But depending on its quality the final product may cause uncalled for emotion, financial strain or even physical and mental pains.

I guess what I’m really saying is, I’m not sure I ever want to be a father.

Happy Thirsty Thursday! And remember: if its on fire, don’t be the idiot, blow it out first! -T-Buss – Team EDR Booz Hound


About Ron Mexico

I am Ron Mexico.

Posted on October 7, 2010, in Tyler, Video. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Literally “lol”ed while reading this. Well done, sir.

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