TTR | Well known for drinking?

 

This week I am not feeling as Thirsty as I typically do. Recently I have been having some un-Godly bad dreams revolving around heavy amounts of beverage consumption. Luckily this morning I dreamed an excitingly boozy dream of inspiration! From this dream I came away with one question:

What type of person is the ultimate well known drinker?

Google Defines “Well Known” as: 

1. Familiar, famous, renowned, widely known.

2. Generally recognized; reserved for some usual purpose.

BUT, in the world of the bar-fly, “Well Known” has a much larger variety of definitions. In this world your ability to be well known is defined by your true self, the real you, the true, loyal, drunken IDOIT inside!

Some drunks have their own shot, drink or chair in the bar. Others are defined by their ability to drink too little, too much or just plain unbelievable amounts. Maybe you act like a ditz when the booze hits or an ass like “Seabass”. Everyone knows the gal who is the hottest, or has the most “cleave” or the least, the best smile or the worst teeth. The skank, ho, man-ho, man skank, dirty, clean, smelly or soft. The “big guy” as all the “dirty godless whores” would say or the “baby boy” as all the “dirty godless whores” would say.

How about those known for puking? Puking in the bar, around the bar, on the bar, on the dance floor, on the dancer, on the DJ, in the bathroom sink, near the toilet but not in it, or most famously on themselves.

It’s certainly possible you may be the guy who urinated on the wall in the VIP section; spunked in her curls, took a drunk dump in your own desk drawer or even won the “who can take home the least attractive mate” contest. Fame might also have emerged from the time you served a minor a tall shot of Mr. Clean, or the time when you decided it would be a good idea to use a brown magic marker to draw on your Halloween mustache, but it ended up looking like a poo-stache.

On the whole shot, its not what you drank to gain your drinking fame its all the things that happened after you drink, drank, got drunk. It can range from funny to tragic but eventually if it’s the right time it will stick.

Soooo, what type of person is the ultimate well known drinker? After mature deliberation I believe the ultimate well known drinker is “that guy”. “That Guy” is always at the bar, no matter where you go or what day of the year it is. He is there to spoil the fun in his own “that guy” way. When its that guy time everyone knows it. Everyone knows to expect getting spilled on, having pictures ruined, standing clear of projectile fluids and most of all avoiding ill conceived taunting mechanisms commonly used by “That Guy”.

Here are some more “That Guy” pics for a good time:

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About Tommy Beluga

Success is important to me, but not as important as happiness!

Posted on January 20, 2011, in Tyler. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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